lemon_cupcake

This is a Paranoid Moment by lemon cupcake.

Now how does that song go? Ah yes;

'Somewhere, beyond the sea, somewhere waiting for me. My lover stands on golden sands--' WOAH WOAH woah... woah, Wait right there casanova. If your lover is 'beyond the sea', if point A being you, point B being she and in between you is a whole lot of the drink? Step back, rethink your priorities (read: LIFE) turn around and find another local girl. Don't be an idiot, for one thing long distance relationships are so 90's, and that big large blue liquidy thing? Full to the rim with things that won't think twice on fucking your shit up. You may think living on the blue planet is pretty boss, but boss it is NOT. Do you know we only roughly explored 4% of our own oceans? and considering how most of our planet is made of it, I think that's pretty damn terrifying; AND SO SHOULD YOU.

Now let's back this piece of TOTALLY TRUE LISTEN TO ME I'LL SAVE YOUR LIFE paranoia with some facts that will chill your blood and make you stay at home reading a book- BROADENING YOUR MIND (look at me, I'm turning you into a fucking professor, you're welcome) instead of frolicking in the ocean like an idiot.

FIRST;

There are still prehistoric living masses in that deep blue. Yeah, you heard me. Aquatic beings that have survived the many hardships and tests of time itself! I bring to you the rare frilled shark;



Okay so that one is in the process of dying but who cares! You know what ELSE is a prehistoric shark?



Bam. The megalodon shark. Bam.

The ocean, of course, has many other creatures living in it's deadly arms that are terrifying, disgusting and just plain wrong. But I'm sure you've all seen pictures of the blob fish and have been lectured about how Australia is a death trap and people who survive living there are gods. So I won't bore you with the same old thing you've been hearing (i.e. blue ringed octopus, stone fish, box jellyfish, etc, etc.)

Instead I'll wow and amaze you with sounds. Yes you've read me correctly; sounds. None of your 'relaxing' whale shit either, honest to goodness unidentified sounds.

I will first show you this video, where several unidentified sounds have been recorded.



Spooky, huh? And here is additional information about each eery sound you just heard.

http://www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acous...nds/julia.html
http://www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acous...nds/train.html
http://www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acous...s/whistle.html
http://www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acous...s/upsweep.html

And I think I will end this article with the most intriguing sound of them all; The Bloop.



'What created this strange sound in Earth's Pacific Ocean? Pictured above is a visual representation of a loud and unusual sound, dubbed a Bloop, captured by deep sea microphones in 1997. In the above graph, time is shown on the horizontal axis, deep pitch is shown on the vertical axis, and brightness designates loudness. Although Bloops are some of the loudest sounds of any type ever recorded in Earth's oceans, their origin remains unknown. The Bloop sound was placed as occurring several times off the southern coast of South America and was audible 5,000 kilometers away. Although the sound has similarities to those vocalized by living organisms, not even a blue whale is large enough to croon this loud. The sounds point to the intriguing hypothesis that even larger life forms lurk in the unexplored darkness of Earth's deep oceans. A less imagination-inspiring possibility, however, is that the sounds resulted from some sort of iceberg calving. No further Bloops have been heard since 1997, although other loud and unexplained sounds have been recorded.'

I wish I could link you to the article I had written after that, explaining that the noise definitely is from a living organism, not a glacier having or what not. But let's think about this, shall we? What sort of large life form could this possibly be? A naive nerd would immediately call Cthulhu.



My money is on Lavos.



But in all seriousness, if those unidentified sounds aren't coming from cute singing mermaids, I don't want to know.

So I will conclude this Very Informative and Wise post with a word of warning;

go, frolic in the ocean. But if you disturb Lavos I will personally come find you and punch you in the teeth